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Advertising gurus suggest that people no longer bother to read, yet sales of books and evidence suggest we love a story as much as ever. So, here is a piece of my true story about how a mother who had been cut off, acquired everything.

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New Year was a common time of year for people to contact our legal office, when I worked in London, to instruct on preparing new Wills and put their plans into action. As life has become more complex for people perhaps, this is less common.

How many reading this, are certain that when you get up tomorrow you will not be hit by the proverbial bus of life? When it does (as for some it certainly will), how certain are you that you will not leave stress and difficulties behind? If you are incapacitated temporarily or long term, have you given your health wishes and instructions or that your personal and business LPA has given permission to someone to access your bank accounts to continue to pay bills and wages.

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Are you certain that should it happen within the next 24 hrs, everyone around you can simply put into action and pay for the plans you have organised? Can you picture the chaos and distress if not?

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Over 60% OF PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THEIR WILL IN PLACE AND HAVE NOT ORGANISED THEIR AFFAIRS.  Imagine how many families that equates to, who are trying to sort through the aftershock of a Life Bus arrival whilst trying to manage practical stress alongside grief.

The courts have more contentious probate and Will challenges than ever before due to the increasing complexity of family circumstances and the assumption that a Will need not be properly considered (hence their drive toward mediation first to ease their load). Aside from the invisible ones, what potential Life Buses can you see coming? Are you being admitted to hospital or diagnosed with a serious illness or suddenly finding yourself dealing with a relative who has dementia? Are you a risktaker and enjoy adrenalin filled pursuits? Could infidelity or divorce be a possibility? All are potential Life Buses.

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HERE IS MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that proves I am not doom mongering and why this matters to me. At 26, I was thankful for my weekend lazy morning before my usual Monday morning rush around to commute to my job at a solicitors in London. The Life Bus arrived. I answered a knock at the door in my dressing gown. A policeman was standing there and from that moment forward my life turned on its head. He said I had been named as next of kin by my youngest brother and he died during the night, with four others and another couple, following a car crash which had been caused by another couple. The reason I was next of kin is because he had disconnected himself from our mother. Family circumstances were extremely difficult.

He had talked to me about his Will because he knew I had started working in a law firm and that I was interested in studying it. He did not want our mother to have any proceeds from the sale of his home he had bought with someone else, nor his pension and savings. He had been pretty savvy for a 24 year old after coming out of the army. He wanted it to go to myself and our other brother who had a special needs son he wanted to make provisions for. The end result however, was none of his wishes were carried out. No-one could find a Will. Our mother would not listen to reason. There was a reason he had cut her off. Under the rules of intestacy (dying without a will) she inherited first. She skipped the country with a significant sum of money from insurance and savings and pension, rather than waiting and helping the co-owner of my brother’s home, to sell the home/pay off the mortgage and so on. His wishes were not legally recorded so his worst possible scenario came about.

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Did he imagine for one second that he would not be going to work on Monday? The fallout from that situation was catastrophic on many levels for a long period of time. Do you imagine it won’t happen to you? Most of us know of someone who has been hit by the Life Bus. Every family, in the event of a Life Bus will suffer stress and fracturing, but the really sad thing is that much of that is preventable.

That was many years ago. I am currently talking with people who have complex family situations. Two are aware and are thankfully preparing to organise their planning to protect inheritances for separate sets of children. Another has a situation that is particularly urgent, but it is too overwhelming for them to face dealing with and the consequences are going to be even harder.

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WHAT I AM ASKING YOU TO DO IS THIS : visualise today the situation you would leave behind for your loved ones if a Life Bus came along. Whether it is a parent, relative or yourself, what if you have not left legally binding instructions? What is the stress and chaos that will land on your loved ones, parents, siblings or children? Another wise friend has just seen the lightbulb moment through challenging experiences. After an incredibly stressful period of time, she and her husband have been dealing with a parent and hospitalised sibling, both of whom have an out of date Will where they have stated they want to change the beneficiaries and executors, and have not yet put their LPAs in place, yet won’t quite get round to dealing with it even with a dementia diagnosis and no attorneys. They now want to get theirs done as soon as possible as they do not want themselves or their families to have to go through what they are dealing with. In addition, people rarely think of their healthcare provisions until it is often too late and adult social workers, healthcare professionals and sometimes legal professionals, are now trying to sort.

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NOW THAT YOU HAVE VISUALISED THE CONSEQUENCES OF A LIFE BUS WITHIN THE NEXT 24 HRS, are you certain all of your planning is in place for you or your loved ones? Is there property or people you need to protect?

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I also offer a service to facilitate you moving forward. For example, if there are complex family dynamics or disagreement preventing you from putting your plans into action, use my mediation skills or the Empowered To Talk service. Sometimes reaching decisions and agreement can be tough and what you need is a structured meeting around the table with an impartial, neutral person. Both before and after a Will, I can empower you to find solutions.

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I can come to your organisations, clubs, socials, care homes, your home and more and talk or present on any aspect you like, or hold family meetings or consult on your needs. Rather than present, I can also simply make myself available for a chat for a couple of hours for whatever arises. Even if it is urgent, I can come to your home or hospital bed.

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We all know prevention is a 1000 times better than finding the cure. Whilst the State may be able to provide a backstop, the law can do nothing to prevent or correct situations like this. For warm, friendly and experienced advice, email or call to discuss. Let me put those plans and solutions in place for you, friends or members of your family. Call me to chat over whatever your needs or concerns are.

Patricia

Contact me: info@tipiwills.co.uk 01727807169